Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize