omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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