Who wears a wallet chain?!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
