During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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