I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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