well I can't set my house on fire every night
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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