She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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