I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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