It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
