It's Friday. Sex?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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