About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
