Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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