She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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