i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
