Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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