Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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