I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
