i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
