If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize