It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
