do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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