Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
