i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
