Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
