Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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