so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize