I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
