It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
