try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
