I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
