Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I didn't notice because vodka
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
