So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
