I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize