I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
