The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
