I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
