A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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