So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So much rum. So many feels.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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