Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
