we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
