what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
vagina is talking i cant
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
