WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
