Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
MIDGETS
????
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
