I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
