i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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