You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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