you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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