She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
