It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
