Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
