I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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