I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
