My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
