do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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