I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
