It's Friday. Sex?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
