i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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