Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
