And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
