how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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