i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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