I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
