I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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