there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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